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I cannot live. I cannot possibly live. Is this it? IS THIS IT? That's it? Until the day I die? Frustration and disappointment. Disappointment and frustration? Over and over and over and over. From the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep. What did I do wrong? I mean, other than negating my feelings, dismissing my intuition and smothering any emotions that were trying to rise to the surface. Why did I make so many awful choices? What was the point of any of it? Why didn't I ever, at any point in time, while making these shitty decisions, why didn't I think I deserve better? Well, because I thought I didn't. I thought it's so much worse for so many other people - what's special about me that I should have it that much better? Well FUCK these other people. FUCK that shit. I don't fucking care how bad they have it. And who the fuck are these people anyway? Who are these imaginary people who have a hell of a life and they still smile and are oh so very ki